Hopperish For Absolute Beginners

Brandon Leisure Centre
Forest-edge facility subject of a relatively recent 500k redevelopment. Grid reference TL778863. Rural tennis courts are apparently in set-aside.

Fern
Any one of 12000 vascular plants reproducing via spores.
From the Old English fearn.

Hop (verb)
Old English hoppian, meaning to spring, leap; to dance; to limp.

Ken (verb)
To know. Possibly of Scottish origin. “D’ye ken John Peel when he’s far far away?”?”

Kenometre (noun)
Indeterminate distance. Reputed to be much greater than 1km. Not recognized by Trading Standards.

Steve
From the Greek Stéfanos, meaning wreath, crown, honour, reward. A name disproportionately represented among hopperati and mascots.

Sunday Morning
A two-hour period devoted to fern hopping and often followed by rehydration.

Wibbly (adj.)
Off-piste deviation involving vertical movement, preferably both up and down. 19th Century origins, meaning vague.

Wibbly-wobbly (adverb)
Every which way, but never straight or level. Often run over several kenometres (ibid).

Wobbly (adj.)
Off-piste deviation involving lateral movement. American origin, meaning shaky or unsteady.